| meh. still nothing to say.
but...i do however have Alanis Morrisette's song See Right Through You in my head and heart tonight. that has pretty much been how i see what's going on in my life right now. i will spare you the lyrics. but look em up if you wish. ~Rae |
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| ...i just got this overwhelming disgust with xanga. i'm not sure exactly why.
i don't think it's doing anything for relieving my heart anymore. i think i need to go to a notebook now. ~Rae |
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| ...so I am sitting here...stuffing my face with Japanese candies and such, bored as poo and for some reason anxious to get back to my good yet awful job tomorow. btw...every woman should gain 10 lbs around Feruary 14th. who's with me? unless you are one of those who lose weight when you are down. curse you crazies!
i took my nose loop out.
i can never make up my mind.
decisions make me cringe.
sometimes i act crazy in order to see if you'll stay.
but i don't play games. take me or leave me. you're call.
allrighty...i'm working on some pictures. but they are mostly of me...and what's the point in that eh? lol ~Rae |
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| well today was pretty wonderful. i flew through it with my heart behind me and refused to really think all day. i just existed and breathed and loved. today was good.
ate at Mellow Mushroom with Carla for lunch-oh how i love that place. it feels like my roots...oddly enough. i don't care if people think it's cliche hippie. and then Carla goes -"we're so awkward". and well...that pretty much sums me up...it's funny. it's good to be in like company though...it truly is. when you find people that can understand your weirdest feelings...hold onto them. i think in that vulnerability is where you can truly feel comfortable. you just have to let it be. well anyway, after that we went on our "every so often spontanious spree". i went to get my industrial bar taken out and loops put in my ear and Carla just up and got her ear pierced. i of course will not discourage a piercing so i was no help in telling her no. then i decided to get a loop in my nose. we're thinking it will make it heal right finally. it's too big and i look like a punk who doesn't know what in the world she is thinking...but i don't really give a crap. not sure if they will make me take it out at work yet. we'll see.
then i came home...and went out with Melissa and Ashley. that was actually really fun because for some reason i became myself. but at the same time i hadn't acted that way for so long it was as if i was looking in on myself at times from another place. but i like me haha. weird eh? I bought the wallflowers. yes i have wanted one of their cd's for a while. i fear i'm falling into this pop/rock thing. yikes.
i'm now home...freezing...and utterly happy. but at the same time...i fear happiness...because i fear the let down. but this letdown will be beautiful...because the Lord is in control. i want church tomorow. but no stares. i don't like being looked at...did you know that? ~Rae |
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